Novel idea: Critique it– is it any good/ worth writing/ would it sell?
I’m worried since the market doesn’t really seem to take to the genre I’m writing in…
Picture it: 1838, London. M. CHARACTER has always lived a charmed life. He is the son of a nobleman, who’s also one of England’s finest entrepreneur, and he himself had been blessed with both brilliance and relative kindness. Thirteen years saw him a small, slender boy, with a constant smile on his lips, blah blah blah. Then, after running away because, despite being a nice guy and all, he’s a spoiled rotten, arrogant, naive, cry-baby, sore-loser, selfish brat, he gets attacked and is given a choice to live or die. He chooses the obvious one, but it’s not what he first thought. After two weeks of painful illness and transformation, he finally becomes a blood-thirsty, raging monstrosity who goes around killing orphan children and other easy targets and throwing their bodies into the River Thames. The story is basically about him trying to control his blood-thirst, falling in love with a human, and trying to avoid the Scotland Yard and keep them from incarcerating his ass 
Mild gore, some dark themes, told in third person, with a somewhat distant, semi-formal voice.
My vampires are: not sparkly, blood-thirsty, stronger, faster than humans, infertile, cold, deathly pale (save for after a fresh feed ;D), have a dulled conscience, have no reflection, are repelled by garlic, can be killed with a stake, can (after MUCH training) control wolves, bats, etc (think Dracula), can’t enter a house without permission, CAN go into the sunlight, though they can’t do anything and it’ll hurt like hell (parasol, please ) can’t enter churches, can’t touch holy water/crucifixes/any other religious artifact/ hearing prayers hurts them, they can eat regular food, etc.
No flames please, but any sort of criticism is respected and desired.
Also, please don’t steal my idea if you like it.
Miss Carrisa: This is true. But at least while taking advantage of the success, I’m doing it in a way that’s not pathetic and a complete disgrace, right? Plus, I wouldn’t say that. There are tons of people I know who actually like vampire books… just ones more along the lines of Rice and Stoker.
@ Michelle: the main “plot” of the story is running from the Scotland Yard (murder is BAD, says they), and I was considering whether to throw some badass vampire slayers in there. You’ve convinced me. The “romance” thing isn’t really romance… think of it as a strange, stalking obsession that’s portrayed as exactly that: a sick obsession that is morally corrupt and disgusting, even to the character himself (think Humbert Humbert from Lolita) it’s supposed to be a dark, sick obsession… not romance xD
Tagged with: Critique • good • Idea • novel • sell • Worth • would • writing
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I think it sounds like an interesting idea.
Vampires are over done, wheather they sparkle or not. sorry
I’m kind of aversed towards all vampire books, but it doesn’t sound TOO bad.
I like the time period you’re setting it in, and London is always a great place for fantasy. And the character’s history sounds interesting enough…. but it’s when he becomes a vampire that makes me somewhat hesitant.
Don’t get me wrong, I love your version of a vampire. But many of the vampire books you find these days have something to do with a vampire falling in love with a human. If the romance part wasn’t the main part of the story, it’s fine though. Otherwise, is it basically about how he’s living his vampire life? Is there a big actiony problem he has to face? Like a vampire slayer on his tail about to kill him?
If it’s just how he’s living life, there doesn’t seem much of a point. Unless your main point of the story is the romance, then I will have to turn away from this.
I would do cannibals instead of vampires, except he’d trying not to eat humans on a moral basis and because if he does he’ll have a cursed life as a wretched creature of the night. As half cannibal he’d have a normal diet except with an agnonizing withdrawl for human meat but to compensate he’d need a diet of 600% of a normal human’s daily intake of iron (so 6x what a human would eat for a meal), he can go out in the sun but it hurts like a nasty sunburn, he’s fast, strong, over-heated, sleeps, can die in all sorts of ways… yadda yadda. But then if he eats human meat he’d become a sort of Golem–stronger, faster, no reflection, church repellant, hard to kill (except for torching?)…
I think the age of the vampire is passing, next I predict it will be angels or apocolypse mumbo jumbo… or perhaps cannibals?
I dont know, its something new. I would read it.
I think it sounds good. If you want to get some more opinions on it, you should post it to a writing collaboration site. The one I go to is over at Lafango.com. You post your stuff, and people comment on it and suggest improvements. Hope this helps!
http://lafango.com/collablab
I really do like this idea. The setting is interesting and it might make it stand apart from other vampire novels. I think it would be fine to add real romance in as long as it isn’t the main plot of the book because there are so many vampire romances out there that are just that. That being said, make sure your plot is complex. I would love if there was tons of action to keep it exciting. If you want some feedback on the actual writing you could send me the first chapter. If not, I would still love to read it just for the enjoyment. My email is lolilolipop5@yahoo.com
Good luck!